The Science of Happily Ever After

“Your soulmate, will find your dead butterflies, revive them & spend every breath, on keeping them alive!”

Science says lasting relationships come down to kindness and generosity. Dr. John Gottman, recognized in 2007 as one of the ten most influential therapists of the past quarter century, performed a six year study on over 1,000 couples called “The Love Lab” at the University of Washington. Dr. Gottman separated the couples into two major groups: the masters and the disasters.

Here is what the masters were doing right:

• Kindness, along with emotional stability, was the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in the relationships.
• The hardest time to practice kindness, is during a fight. This, however is also the most important time to be kind. Letting contempt and aggression spiral out of control during a conflict can inflict irrevocable damage on a relationship.
• Kindness does not mean that we do not express our anger, but the kindness controls how we choose to express the anger. You can throw spears at your partner or you can explain why you are hurt and angry; that is the kinder path.
• As the normal stresses of life such as children, career, friends, in-laws, and other distractions tend to crowd out time for romance, couples may put less effort into their relationship and let the petty grievances they hold against one another tear them apart.

  Written by: Student Doctor Navpreet Singh Badesha
  #MEDspiration